Tuesday, December 7, 2010

a choice...

Since I last posted we have traveled to Indiana and back twice, had 1st day of school, 2 birthdays (including our very first slumber party), BELLA TURNED ONE, started ballet again, played flag football, dressed up as Harry Potter, Tinkerbell, Sleeping Beauty and a ballerina, built an amazing fire pit in our yard, traveled all the way to Washington D.C. for a family reunion/Thanksgiving, had the first beautiful snowfall of the season, had the first nasty flu of the season, chopped down and decorated our Christmas tree and so so much more. No wonder I have had no time to blog!

I love looking back at all the pictures and all the memories. It almost always makes me cry, in a happy way. Who am I kidding? I am just a crier, happy or sad. I want to do better at recording all of these precious moments so that I will always remember them. It's hard to find the time or to at least make it a priority. Sometimes in life we go through really hard things, things that are devastating and heartbreaking and those things change us. When those things happen, because they do happen to all of us, the last thing I want to do is examine my life for things to write about in my blog. Those are the times when it is hard to see the hand of the Lord in my life and when I need to see it the most. It's often or maybe always so much easier to wallow than to search. I am choosing to stop wallowing and start searching. I have many many blessings in my life and I am choosing to start seeing them, acknowledging them and being grateful for them. It's a much better place to be and I do believe it is a choice we can make.

love this little holiday gem from 2004

Monday, June 28, 2010

Summer = together, I like together...

I am feeling the need to blog lately. I am also feeling that my blog needs a face lift. I will need to enlist the help of my husband for that. So much has happened and I am loving having all my little blessing home and around me everyday! Not that there wasn't a transition period! We have successfully made it through that transition and now life is sweet again.

First there is my sweet baby Bella who is 8 months old! She was born and I blinked and now she's big and eating food and drinking juice in a cup! She is teething and so not happy about it, which is a change for Bella. Bella is always happy and a total mama's girl. I love that! She loves to be tickled and she loves when any of her sisters or brother pay attention to her. I swear her hair gets more red everyday and it's gorgeous! I love my little red hair girls. Bella is just happy and sweet and perfect and I am still so in love with my dream baby!

Molly is having a great time with the big kids home. She missed them, a lot. It was Molly who had the hardest transition. She's used to running the house while the kids are at school and having lots of my attention. She has finally found her way with everyone home and now she's loving life again. Molly just finished her first ever dance class and she LOVED it! My little Molly looked so tiny next to the other girls, but she did great. She keeps asking when it's time to go to class and it's over now and she is sad. There is no substitute for dance. Molly will be signed up for dance again in September and she's already asking me how many days until September? Molly is trying swim lessons right now but she'd rather not. Usually, Molly loves the water and she wants to swim on her own. At swim lessons she sits on the side and cries and says she doesn't want to get her bow wet (even when she's not wearing a bow!) Who knows why Molly does anything? She is the reason for all of my gray hairs! She goes to the potty when SHE wants to and she goes to sleep when SHE wants to. She must wear a skirt or a dress everyday and she loves jewelry and sparkly shoes and magic wands, but she also loves dirt and mud and Lucas's bakugan's. She's always saying,"Remember when... That was so funny!" Molly is an individual and she does things in her own way and in her own time. She has been that way since before she was born. I am learning to accept this about Molly. With that acceptance has come less battling and much more laughter and enjoyment. I am still working on it, but oh how I love that girl who looks just like me.

My cute red headed Emma and her cute pink glasses that always slide down her nose making her look like a little grandma. She is so sensitive and so nurturing and so much like me that she drives me crazy! Emma has been doing cheerleading for the past 3 weeks and she loves it. In a few weeks she will start swimming lessons too and she can't wait. I love when Emma is home. She floats so easily between playing with Molly or Bella and playing with Lucas. She loves to help and be domestic. She is always wanting to cook and she can fold a whole basket of towels PERFECTLY (half, half again and then in thirds)! She is so excited for first grade and hoping for the same teacher Lucas had. She loves and looks up to her big brother so much. She is so so smart and loves to read. She is always reading and I do mean always, in her bed walking down the hall, walking down the stairs, in the car, in the bathroom, when she is supposed to be playing with friends or cleaning. ALWAYS! I wish she had more confidence. I pray and worry about that for her all the time. I want her to know that she is good, strong, smart, capable, worthy and loved. How do I make sure my daughter knows that? It took me a LONG time to know that and I still struggle with it.

Lucas is loving summer. All the sports he could want! Finally learning to ride a two wheeler has made bike riding suddenly so much more fun and finally losing a tooth! Lucas has also discovered the wonderful world of Harry Potter and he has caught the fever. I am amazed that he has read the first 4 books in the last 6 weeks!!! I told him I would read the books with him, since I had never read them. It's hard to keep up with him. We are both enjoying talking about the books and sometimes staying up late and cuddling up while we read a chapter together. Lucas has always been my cuddler. Lucas is playing coach pitch baseball this summer and starting swim lessons soon too. He's just having fun being outside and playing with friends. He finished 1st grade in a blaze of glory playing the lead part in his class musical. It was so fun for him and so fun for me to watch him. I think he caught the acting bug! Lucas is growing up so fast and takes good care of his sisters, but still wishing for a brother. We will have to wait and see. The jury is still out on that topic...

Joe is busier than ever before, if that's possible. He's transitioning to a new role at work and feeling good about that. He is the young men's president in our ward and I never knew how much work that was going to be. Holy Cow! It's only been about 9 months so we are in for the long haul on that one. Joe works hard and he works hard for us. I know that. I do. I have to remind myself constantly. Joe never does anything half way or just enough and it's a wonderful quality to have. But, honestly I struggle with it. I struggle with it A LOT. He is gone a lot (work and church responsibilities) and that means the kids and I are on our own a lot. I just miss him when he's not around. I miss him a lot. I am trying harder to just be grateful for when he is here and not thinking how long until he is gone again. It's hard for me and I will never be great at it, but I am trying. I know that when we put the Lord first in our lives, serve first, that everything works out and falls into place. Doors are opened, blessings come. Now if I could just remember those truths when the kids are fighting and the baby's crying and there are mountains of laundry and dishes in the sink spilling over to the counters and cereal smashed all over the floor and earwigs in the basement and the toilet flooding and the toddler has peed on the couch yet again and Joe is out of town on yet another business trip, if I could remember then...that would be something.

I love summer. I love having my family all together. The time we share together is so precious. There is so much I want my children to know and I feel the urgency. I want them to know who they are and where they came from and what they can become. I want them to know that I love them and the Lord loves them. That's what I want and that's what I am trying to do here at home everyday. That's why today instead of starting dinner we played 4 square in the driveway while Bella was napping. And why when I was putting Bella down for her nap, I let her nurse and snuggle as long as she wanted. I didn't look at the clock or think about the next thing on my very long, ever growing to do list. I was just there in the moment with my sweet baby, breathing in that wonderful scent trying to capture that memory.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Then and Now

Today I am thinking about this...

I really love these kids! I think they are so adorable and so amazing. I couldn't be more proud of them! Where does the time go?

Friday, February 12, 2010

The best Valentine EVER!

My Mom, My Valentine...

Mom, I love you more than pumpkin pie. I love you more than my dad. I even love you more than football. I love you like a moon loves night. I love the smell of your potato soup. I love the taste of your baked potatoes. I love the sound of your heart beat. I love the feel of your head against mine. I love when you find time to cuddle with me. I love you, I love you, I love you, I do!

From your kid, Lucas

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

It's been awhile...

I really have done more in the last 4 months than have a beautiful sweet baby. It's definitely the best thing I have done, though. Life with 4 kids is crazy busy, but most of the time I love it. It's hard,but good hard.

I totally missed all the holidays so here is a really quick highlight version with some too cute to be missed pictures.


I had my first official Thanksgiving at home and I loved it! My mom and my sister came up and we had so much fun. I had a great time cooking and baking and everything turned out great, even if I made WAY too much food. The day after Thanksgiving I went shopping with my mom and Jaimee (and Bella too!) at 5:00 in the morning! The next day we took the kids and Jaimee to get our very first REAL Christmas tree. The deal I made with Joe a long time ago was when we have a house then we can get a real tree. I have to say that I LOVED having a real tree and I don't think I can ever go back now.

Just before Christmas:

Right before Christmas we got a phone call letting us now that my great grandma had passed away. She was an amazing woman and always very special to me. Emma is named after her and the two of them had a special connection. While we were all sad to see her leave this world, we know that we will be with her again someday.

It was nice to be with all of our extended family. Most of them had never met Molly so we had 2 beautiful girls to introduce. I think it's safe to say that my cousin David and Bella are officially in love!

Christmas/New Year's:

We got back from Indiana the day before Christmas Eve and had a million things to do. It was a little crazy but we made it and ended up having a great Christmas with all the kids. Band Hero was definitely the biggest hit and a huge surprise to Joe thanks to my mom! We have several budding rock stars in our family and I am pretty sure Emma is ready to change her name to Taylor Swift!

New Year's was the typical lots of game playing and a crazy hard 1000 piece puzzle. Lucas and Emma made it to midnight, but Molly passed out on the floor about 10:00.

I really love being at home with our little family during the holidays. It's great to be with our extended family but I am loving the peace of just being home together. This year Joe took off work for the 2 weeks that the kids were home. It was heaven! We all loved having him home and were really sad when it was time to go back to work. I really love my husband and it was great to have 2 weeks to spend together laughing and falling in love all over again like a bunch of teenagers!


Now Bella is 3 months old!!! Lucas is about to turn 7! Molly is doing AWESOME at potty training!!! Emma is doing great at her ballet class and the recital is coming up soon! Joe, of course, it out of town this week and busy being young men's president. I am recommiting to being a good wife, a good mother, finding more patience and finding joy in the small everyday moments of motherhood.